Dreamin'

Dreamin': Sometimes the journey is slow to start. Things go up, and things go down. But then you blink and you are doing just what you set your mind on in the first place. It makes the pursuit worth it.

"Come on, everybody needs a change
A chance to check out the new
But you're the only one to sees
The changes you take yourself through."

-Stevie Wonder

So lately I’ve been in this strange combined state of extreme satisfaction and extreme frustration. I have so many interests, passions, dreams, and goals, and I want to do all at the same time. While I know that isn’t actually possible, I always hope to somehow sprinkle a dash of what I love into everything. But even THAT is tough to do. So after pouring out to close friends and family members about how completely conflicted I am, I’ve concluded a few things.

For starters, I cannot do it all. Not that I can’t ever do these things, but if I want to be successful, I can’t do everything at once. I have to put some dreams on the shelf, as Sara Haze likes to say, and then when I’m at a stage I’m comfortable with, I can take these off of the shelf. I may have to blow off the dust and add a fresh coat of whatever, but that’s worth the wait.

But I still sometimes think I can just select a sample of what I love and sprinkle a dash of everything into all that I do! That could work, but it is totally okay to take a dash of some and leave the rest on the shelf noted above. For those of us who read the Bible, we may remember the parable of the talents. I always thought that if I had a talent, I had to consistently use it to give back. I feared that God might take a talent away if I did not use it all the time, and that made for a VERY stressed out Sherylynn. Up until yesterday, I reconsidered getting acrylic nails just in case I decided to perform my violin over the holidays. There is a constant fear of losing all that I’ve invested and poured into.

But think about this: to perform my violin over the holidays, I would have wanted to start brushing up in October at the latest (haven’t played in a year and haven’t performed in three years), then I’d have to organize gigs, organize my set, preferably memorize the pieces, and yea…that is not a 24-hour situation. See what I mean?

But there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to dedicate all of my time to doing everything! So it’s best to prioritize and focus on the most time sensitive goals and applicable talents, and go from there. As long as I am giving my best (talents, time, etc.) to my current priorities and projects, I should be okay.

In the same vein, as I pour into those few things I am working on, I have to remember that my priorities may not make sense to everyone—especially if your strategy doesn’t appear linear at first glance. For example, when I am in creativity mode, I find that sometimes, people do not always understand my work, my wild ideas, or my process. Maybe because it’s almost like you are digging deep down inside of your mind and your soul, and allowing that to dictate what comes next…in a movement phrase, riff, run, lyric, idea--really anything. And it is not always easy to bring people into your world who aren’t interested or open to that type of freedom. It is a very spiritual state that one has to tap into and that can feel weird at first, or even uncomfortable, but it’s refreshing to be there. I’ve also found that in these cases it is okay to put yourself out there and explain yourself. As frustrating as it can be for someone to miss your point, unpacking it could touch a heart. <3

But often, people I speak with wonder why I dedicate so much of my time to dance, and consider what I do with my dancing to be a passion project. I was caught off guard, but realized this was advice given out of love. But what the person failed to realize is that to focusing on dance does not have to mean solely performance.  It can mean: teaching, funding, organizing, and even working at large companies like Time Warner or Deutsche Bank. Ever heard of corporate philanthropy? It’s a thing. So yea, I will NEVER consider dance to be simply a passion project. #danceislife

I think this is just one of those seasons where you have to re-center, decide what you want, how soon you want it, and be cool with maybe taking a different approach, even if people aren’t following. As long as you’re being safe, and thoughtful, then go ahead with your approach! You must #havefaith, and #doyou. Some people might not be open to “you”, but other people are! J

That said, I will continue to pursue my dreams thoughtfully and carefully. I will take it one day at a time, doing my best to worry about nothing, and pray about everything (Philippians 4:6). I’d love to have you join me on my journey. <3

Prayer: Lord, help me not to be anxious but rather fervent and diligent in the pursuit of my dreams. Help me to trust You and to pray faithfully about my heart's desires. Love you.