An Anecdote on the Adult Learning Curve
When you think you have it, but you don’t.
“'Welcome to our school! How long have you been teaching?', ‘Well, I use to help my little sister with her homework, so I've got it under control’.”
Okay, let’s face it. We have all been here, whether we like to admit it or not. You take two karate classes and you are ready to walk through a dark alley at night, you take two ballet classes and you finally mastered your right split so you think you can audition for American Ballet Theatre, or, in my case, you take three hustle classes and you think you’re ready to go out dancing with NYC hustlers.
#WRONG (Donald Trump voice)
Thankfully, I had a very special teacher who was there to catch me when I was falling. Let me tell you my story.
So I work at a dance studio in Harlem. On one particular evening, I came in expecting to see Lukas, the regular teacher for that evening. Someone else came to the door: a tall gentleman with long curly hair pulled into a bun, a defined jaw bone. He wore black pants and shoes, and a white top. I introduced myself, he told me his name was Georgio, and I welcomed him to the studio. I told him he was very early to take class. He gave me a funny look and said “What do you mean? I’m teaching.” So I stood there for a moment, confused and embarrassed, and then remembered that day was the start of the new session. It was, in fact, to be Georigio’s first class.
So, Georgio began to prepare for class, and I said, “So, you’re teaching hustle. What is that?”. He explained it, and the only thing that stuck with me in his explanation was partnering, (and I could only think of how much partnering I hadn’t done). But I decided to dive in and take class anyway.
Three weeks quickly flew by and I became a regular to his class. I was doing turns, dips and all sorts of fun movements. My confidence had grown significantly and I knew my skills were improving. Even Georgio told me how much I had improved over the weeks. So after week three, Georgio told me I was doing a great job in class, and that I should practice hustling with other people. I thought to myself “oh cool! That sounds fun, and I’m getting so much better! How hard could it be”.
So Georgio invited me to an upcoming session with his dancer friends. I agreed to attend. On the day of the event, I came prepared with my character shoes (which essentially labelled me as a beginner), leggings, and tank, a typical dance class outfit for me. He started playing the music loudly. Sounds of disco and house filled the room, red disco lights danced on the walls, and people started to trickle in. Georgio reached his hand out to me signaling that he wanted to dance, and of course I accepted his invitation. I began to repeat in my mind “and 1-2-3; and 1-2-3; and 1-2-3”. Just like that, I was in my groove and ready to tear up the dance floor with my three-week-old skills. As we danced, more hustlers poured into the dance studio.
Who knew there were so many hustlers in NYC!
After dancing with Georgio I worked on my basic steps while he danced with some of the other women in the room. They were exceptional.
I anxiously awaited someone else to ask me to dance. It was weird. I almost felt like I was at the mercy of all of the men in the studio. I literally could not dance unless I was asked. So I waited, and waited, and waited, and then it happened. Someone OTHER THAN GEORGIO asked me to dance! Woohoo!
So I step onto the dance floor, and then I don’t know what happened, but dude was doing all sorts of other stuff that I had never done before. What happened to the “and 1-2-3; and 1-2-3; and 1-2-3” that I had done with Georgio for the past three weeks?! I completely froze and felt like I was back in class number one. But thankfully, this particular gentleman was incredibly sweet and even more patient. So he gave me some tips that I could incorporate right then. I did as he instructed, and I felt so much better. A few moments later, the gentleman and I stopped dancing, but I felt like I got a little bit better. My confidence fell a bit, but that was a good reality check, and at that point, I was figured I’d be a much better dancer with the next gentleman who asked me to dance…
At about an hour into the event, the room was filled with so many dancers, commercial and internationally known hustlers, wakkers, ballroom dancers, and house dancers. It was pretty amazing and the energy was great. I was getting more and more excited!
In the midst of the excitement, another gentleman asked me to dance. I thought “yes, I can totally handle this.”
#WRONGGGGGG
Dude was doing completely different stuff than Georgio and the first guy!!! I was like “what the heck?! How am I so horrible at this?” But I took my loss, followed this new guy’s directions, and incorporated his advice.
THIS HAPPENED LIKE SIX MORE TIMES. And that sixth time was the most epically uncomfortable moment ever.
People called out the word “Cypher! Cypher!” And next thing you know, we are all in a circle. So the idea was, a guy takes the hand of a girl, and they go into the circle to dance to whatever song is playing. Then randomly, the next couple takes over and the current couple sits down. “How cool!” I thought. “But maybe I will just chill on the side”.
#WRONG #AGAIN!!
A house hustler walked up to me and took my hand. Mind you, I hadn’t danced with him that evening, so I was ready to be humbled-yet again. We started to dance. All eyes were on us. I looked down the entire time, so nervous about the steps, thinking deeply about all of the feedback I had received that evening. Then I hear the crowd around us yelling, “Look into his eyes! Feel the music! Connection!” So I looked up, everyone cheered, and things got a little easier. HE DIDN’T FEEL LIKE GEORGIO but it got a bit easier.
So after the Cypher, I went to the side of the dance studio where folks were sitting and chatting. Georgio came and sat beside me. He asked, “Are you okay? Are you having a good time?” So I replied, “Yes! It is great…but I’m having a hard time. I am counting my steps like we practiced in class, but all of the guys have their own style and it’s really hard to follow some of them, Georgio”. And his response was the best:
“Yes, I know. But that’s the point. You learned the basics in class, but once you get out and meet with the other dancers, you have to learn to use what you practiced and adapt to their style.. Women are like that too. You all dance differently. It’s generally the same, but it is also different. You are doing a great job though.”
At that point, not only was I re-energized to keep trying, but I thought deeply about what he said. It made me think about my approach to life. We learn so much in life, we gain skills, tools, and strategies to create a structure, process, or lifestyle that we want. But sometimes, you have to relax the controls and trust that things will flow in the way that they are supposed to.
So right then, I felt relieved, humbled, and completely open to what would come next. It was almost the end of the session, and an exceptionally tall gentleman (at least 6'5") asked me to dance. Sidenote: I saw this gentleman at the beginning of the session and decided to stay far away. He and I were on two different levels (both physically and technically). He also asked me to dance earlier in the eve, and when the song ended as we were preparing to start, he left me very quickly.
YIKES!
But he approached me that second time, and I, open and ready to get my tail kicked, took his hand. But it was different that time. Instead of thinking of all of the tips I had received before tall guy, I thought of what Georgio told me, and how I needed to adapt to the leader. So I did, and we danced for several songs that evening. It was awesome! At one point, tall guy said “I think your issue is you think too much and you don’t just feel the music”.
It’s true. Sometimes I’m in the zone, but after all of those corrections, I was just focusing on doing everything right. But right then, I let go, enjoyed the movement and things flowed seamlessly. It was great.
All in all, it was an eventful evening, and I am thankful for such an incredible teacher like Georgio. He cares about his students, encourages them to be better, and keeps his expectations high. But even more, I am grateful for the words of encouragement he offered about adapting. Not only was it true that evening, but it is crucial in life. Who knew that one conversation could make such a difference.
See, Georgio gave me the tools to dance hustle. But while I develop these, I always need to stay open to the leader. In a spiritual context, I think of Proverbs 16:3. The verse says that if you commit all of what you do to the Lord, He will establish your plans. He is the leader, and even though we don’t know his plans, we prepare and our faith carries us. In partner dance, I have skills, but I don’t always know where my dance partner, the leader, will guide me. But I have to just trust him, trust that I have prepared well, and allow him to lead. Sometimes, I feel prepared, other times I don't. But that's when faith kicks in. Either way, both with hustle and in my spiritual life, I need to be sure that I continue to prepare and practice while staying open to the way God leads.
Prayer: Dear Lord, thank you for the gift of dance and for allowing it to be a part of my life. Thank you for Georgio, his high expectations, and his dedication to his craft, and thank you for that encouraging moment where he reminded me about adapting to the leader. Please help me to do better with adapting to Your leadership and thank you for helping me continually learn to loose the reigns. Love you.
Note: If you want to meet the famous Georgio and learn from him, come to 165 E 111th Street, New York, NY tonight at 6pm! :)