Being 20 Something
Being 20 Something: The years you figure out what it means to figure it out.
“Ughhhh…what am I doingggggg”
After I graduated with my master’s degree, I decided to delay my job application process to explore my love for dancing, singing, and traveling the world. While I recognize that the time I spent traveling, dancing, and performing could have been used to land a really incredible job opportunity (that everyone continues to ask about...) I am glad I took the time and space to do this. Why?
I learned so much.
These were all solo experiences, and this gave me a chance to reflect and figure out how I wanted to move forward in life. Do I like where I am? Do I like who I am? Is there anything I have always wanted to do but never gave myself a chance to do? Is there anything I do that I really don’t want to be a part of my life anymore? Perhaps I am doing some things for other people that are not fulfilling? How do I truly feel about this? How does this connect to my overall vision for and of myself?
Those are some of the questions I reflected on. As a result, I have learned a lot about myself, grown a lot, and thus want to share my lessons learned. To my younger readers (and older readers who may be interested in a life-lesson refresher), here are 10 lessons that I’ve learned in my seven years of being 20 something:
1. Everyone has something to bring to the table.
a. We are all very different and have had many different influences that inform our decisions and teach us what it means to do right. We may not always agree on what we believe to be right, but everyone has strengths and is valuable. We can learn something from everyone.
2. There is no need to stress about every tiny thing.
a. Since I was a young child, I would stress about everything under the sun. There are still things I can afford not to stress about. But in the grand scheme of things, stressing can be a serious hindrance to progress, clear thinking, and peace. Life gets tough, and of course it's normal to stress, but things are really not always as bad as they seem. Really.
3. Value your friends and family.
a. When you’re younger, your friends are the people who save you a seat on the bus, who help you draft a love note to your crush, and who cry on the phone with you when your parents say you can’t go to so-and-so’s sweet 16 sleep over because “they don’t know the parents”. But as an adult, they are the ones who help you make good life decisions, and the ones who catch you when you made the wrong one. They are the ones who cry on the phone with you because life is actually hitting you hard and you aren’t sure how to handle it. They are the ones who ask you how you’re doing, and then ask you again when you say “doing well, thanks!” because they want to know how you’re actually doing. Treat them well. You need them.
4. Life is short, make the most of it.
a. At the start of my 20s, I felt incredibly invincible. As long as I did the right thing, I’d be okay. If I decided to take a risk for the sake of a new daring experience, I could just be extra careful and be okay. Sometimes that is true, but there is a lot I do not have control over. Tomorrow is not promised, and every day matters. Make the most of the days, be good to yourself, and pray. Always pray and be thankful.
5. If you are not at peace, do not move forward.
Everyone knows what a gut feeling is. It is the feeling where something just doesn’t feel right and whether or not you can pinpoint why, it’s there. Listen to your gut feeling. If your spirit is warning you to stay away, then do it. It is particularly hard to listen to this gut feeling when everything appears to be okay, but I’ve found that the times I did not listen to it, I ended up wasting a lot of time and energy, or missed out on something really great. And yes, we take losses in life, gut feeling or not. But all of the times I went against my true feelings, I would always end up reverting back to what I knew I should have done in the first place. It always felt much better when I did that.
6. Be confident in yourself, and your ability to make a difference.
As we get older, we see more and more often that our friends and colleagues are making big moves! They are starting companies, speaking at really fantastic events, starting families, pursuing what they love, and they seem so happy! It is easy to want to divert from your journey and copy theirs because it appears to have lead them to success! But it is important to remember that their journey is for them, and yours is for you. Even if they have achieved goals that you hoped to achieve, it doesn’t mean you can’t still achieve those! Also, while they were working on those accomplishments, you were working on accomplishments of your own that you should be proud of! The best thing you can do if you have similar goals in mind, is ask them for advice if they reached there first. People are usually willing to help, especially if they are friends of yours!
7. Love yourself, and be your best you.
a. Be yourself, but be your BEST self. Build on your strengths, develop your weaknesses, and use it all for good. If you have qualities about yourself that you feel are standing in the way of your success, take action and work on these. But don’t get down on yourself about who you are. Love yourself and be secure. <3
8. Sometimes, things will come to you more easily than other things will.
a. “If it was easy, everyone would be doing it." Sometimes you have to do the exact thing that scares you or intimidates you to get what you want. But if you want something badly, put in the work because it will be worth it in the end. Furthermore, while you complain about how much work is involved, there is always someone else who is working twice as hard and who realizes complaining does NOTHING. Do what you need to do.
9. Everyone makes mistakes. Be forgiving.
a. In life, we are all trying to make the right choice that will be the most rewarding for ourselves and the people we love. At the end of the day, it is important to forgive. We have all been in situations where we have made poor impulsive choices, whether we like to admit it or not. We also have made well-thought-out decisions that simply did not go as planned. It happens. The least we can do, as hard as it is, is forgive others when we are the ones who feel the negative effects of a poor choice. Then start thinking of solutions.
10. No need to respond to frustration with anger. Be patient, show love, and stay respectful.
a. I’ve been told that I am short-tempered at times. Regardless, there is really no need to respond to someone angrily the instant you get frustrated or offended. Believe it or not, humans continue to have feelings whether you are frustrated or not, so stay calm, be patient, and respond in love. If you continue to struggle communicating with the person, simply consider the root cause, but don’t resort to anger or harsh words. It is not worth losing a friend or hurting a new (or established) relationship. However, it is perfectly fine to respectfully walk away from an unhealthy relationship if you have been as loving as you can, and the individual is still not on the same page with you.
These are ten lessons that I learned in my 20s. For me, they are valuable and keep me open to what the journey of life has to offer. We do not know what is ahead, but for now, we can keep focused on what is important in the present. I will live the best life I can: loving others, living my truth, and persevering if I stumble. 1 Peter 1: 17-25 helps me remember what is important and reminds me to live well and love deeply. I hope this verse helps you too, and feel free to leave your "Being 20 Something" lessons in the comments! :)
Prayer: Dear Lord, help me to live a life that is pleasing to You, where I learn from my mistakes, and use these lessons to bless others in a positive and special way. Thanks for your love, for carrying me this far, and for protecting me from bizarre and unexpected events. Help me to show my appreciation by making the most of every day I am here. I Love You.